Sunday, November 16, 2008

Captain Coulier's captain's blog

Nov. 15th 20008

Location: Deep in the Fanderwol district just a worm hole from sector 3.

Today I raised a serious moral question; is a lie always a bad thing? I say no. Today I lied because I didn't want to talk to my mom on the communicator. It's Sunday and we were in the middle of a constellation when the communicator rang and it was, of course, my mom. I got my co-captain,Fred, to help me fake an invasion to get off the link with her. During the fictious invasion the rest of my crew ran into the cock pit scared and stupified by the event. Of course, they didn't know it was fake so their frantic activity was enough to get mom to hang up. Needless to say they were not pleased, and right away accused me of being a dishonest person. I thought they would think it was funny. But they didn't. Melanie, crew doctor, just scowled at me. Rick, crew photographer, laughed condesendingly, which technically he isn't allowed to do since I am his superior. I tried to explain to them that it was in good taste, and if anything a good thing becuase my mom always ends up feeling horrible when she talks to me because my manuerisms remind her of dad and she hates dad. But the crew didn't seem to care. Even Fred turned on me claiming that I made him do it and that he felt horrible the whole time. I guess that would explain his weak acting. The first thought that went through my head was 'I now know how the boy who cried wolf felt after the second time he cried wolf'. He probably just wanted the town's people to relax and, if anything, thank him for getting some energy in the village (even if it was fake) again. That's all I wanted from my crew; some support and a few laughs maybe. the second thought was; holly smokes they took all of 2 minutes to show up to the cockpit during the ficitous invasion! 2 minutes! and when they arrived Rick claimed to be taking his morning shower, Melanie was finishing dinner, and Iggy was enjoying his midnight snack. We're light years deep in space and my crew is completely out of sync. Two minutes to react to a life and death crisis. Our disconnected biological clocks are killing our chemistry. If we were actually being attacked we'd all be dead by now. Neh-If I wasn't full of shit we'd all be dead. So maybe the town's people/my crew should think less about whether the boy/me are truthful and more about how lucky they are to have a boy who's job it is to call wolf in the first place. As an exploration captain in the year 20008 my job is basically to call wolf, only I don't get to sit on a fence and doze off while counting sheep. I sit on a stool and count stars, wishing a wolf or invader will show up so I can call wolf and it actually mean something. We, as a crew, need to get in sync. Tomorrow I am implementing a schedule. Tonight I hope to count wolf in my sleep.

Captain out: that was the future before I wrote it.

1 comment:

Tony Pontes said...

Wow. This was seriously the weirdest thing i've ever come in contact with it. While reading it, i tried to conceive the place you were coming from, but i couldn't.

It was captivating and I'd like to thank you for introducing Captain Coulier captain's blog to the rest of us. I look forward to more of his futuristic adventures.