The anti excuse

Just a simple yes or no will do and has always done! If you are backing out of something and provide a lengthy excuse as to why you can't make it, you're lying. Like for example giving a moody list of all the events you're going to do instead of showing up for the event you were invited to. As a tennis coach I get emails the size of my arm explaining why 'so and so' won't make it to my clinic today because (insert Shakespearean silliqoue (can't spell this word and spell check doesn't get me) here)

So here is the anti-excuse- send some one a huge email WHY you're going to show up!!!!!!!!! not some bull reason why 'as much as you want to be there you have (insert Charles Dickens description of event you have to attend)

Dear Party attendants:
Tonight Erin and Nick have their shows!! As much as I want to go, and I really do, my friend Phillip Wearbrother, he's in veterinarian school, is having his annual holiday's party. I told him earlier this year that I might not come if something else came up because he put me on the 'maybe' list. Also he asked me to prepare my holiday soup, and of course I had very little time to prepare it because of the weak perennial season of butternut squash this 2008. Damn, I want so badly to attend both, but of course Phillip Wearbrother would be so heart broken if I didn't come bearing my squash soup and a good amount of mugs. He likes when I hand out my soup in mugs rather than bowls. This gives people the option to sip on the soup, or to use a spoon in the sizely mugs. Sipping from a bowl is weird, but spooning from a cup, not so much, right. So it is with this information that I have to say as much as I want to go to your show tonight...........I am going to come. Fuck squash soup.Conor


I wrote this freestyle( don't think this shit occupies my time because this is how I think)