SNEEZE ON ME, sneeze on me, SNEEZE ME ON

Sneezing is the new social controversy so I decided to do my homework on it to find out what it's all about. Here is the research on sneezing.

Sneezing: when you spray germs from your face all over the place.

Sneezing masturbation : A sneeze is actually a spasm or rather a miniature orgasm. Some people like to look into the sun or hot lights and have multiple sneezes/orgasms. This is sneezing masturbation.

'The BLESS YOU': every time you sneeze your soul jumps out of your body and becomes susceptible to the devil's hands. If someone isn't around to say 'bless you' then your soul can be captured by the devil and lugged down to hell. There is one other way to avoid this. say 'bless me'.

Sneezing history: Back in the days of yore it was actually impolite not to sneeze on someone after puking at their dinner table after a feast.

Sneezing today: Don't sneeze unless you're wearing a purel mouth filter. Sneezing is so frowned upon now that the 'sleeve sneeze' is the preferred sneeze catch. If you're wearing a short sleeved shirt, sneeze into your pants, and if you're wearing shorts then sneeze into your crotch. If you're wearing a speedo ask you're neighbour politely if you can use their towel, and while you're at it, ask if they can rub sunscreen on your hard to reach back.

Sneezing into the future: It appears that the sneeze is becoming more and more socially unacceptable. This will lead to an underground sneeze movement, in which people will congregate in discrete after-hours garages and warehouses to sneeze on each other and listen to gospel music. These will be called 'cancel out parties' and everyone will leave the same as they came in.