Premature Texjaculation

Dear Textpert,

I don't know what to do. I met Jennifer at a bar and we seemed to hit it off. It wasn't birds and rainbows or anything, but there was a connection and we exchanged numbers. The next day I texted her, "Hey Jen. Free Friday for drinks and magic markers?" (magic markers being a reference to a conversation we had that night...an inside joke). My text message was met with No response. I almost sent her another message later that day, but didn't. Finally she texted me back.... on Friday afternoon! She wrote me, "lol magic markers are essential. I've been swamped! Tonight doesn't work, but hows next Tuesday?" So I immediately texted her back ,"Sounds great, how are you?". I haven't heard a word from her and it's now Tuesday. Help me textperts. What should I do?

Josh do nothing! This is a case of PREMATURELY TEXTJACULATION!

By responding to her text message immediately you ruined your chances with Jennifer, at least for the time being. Clearly she liked your reference to magic markers in your original text, but was too busy to get back to you... maybe with work, maybe other guys, or maybe she's a little skeptical of you. Nevertheless, by her offering an exact day to hang out next, she is still very much a potential 'take down'. However, when you responded to her text message immediately, you sent the signal that you are a desperate loser who's life is centered around her text messages. Whether this is the case or not, you prematurely texjaculated, and this never goes over well. So for now Josh, file Jennifer under 'love that could have been', and get on with your life. If she likes you she'll text you back. Don't hold your breath.

In the future: Wait at least 8 hours before texting back in a situation such as this one.

Also a side note: Ending a text message with 'how are you?' is a faux paus. It's an uncreative and weak attempt to get a text message conversation going. If you wanted the chance to get a dialogue going you should make a statement. Maybe something comical, or an observation. Either way, if you send a statement, she has no pressure to respond and therefore will feel at easy. Also, if she doesn't respond, at least your not some loser who asked a question and didn't get an answer.


Take your time replying to a text: Yeah we all have our phones glued to our hand. Sure our whole business and livelyhood rests in the in and out boxes of our hand held lap tops, which we check every 3 seconds. Yeah, it is understood that everyone has a phone and is using it daily. Knowing all this, if you respond too fast to a text, you are PREMATURLY TEXTJACULATING. Make people wait. Show them you've got other text messages, conversations, business deals to attend to before you can respond to theirs.

Sincerely,

the textpert