Advice of the day

The other day a friend of mine went to the bathroom (#2). He flushed, but due to weak water pressure not all was flushed down. I followed into the bathroom shortly after to urinate and did so in his soiled bowl. I yelled to my friend as I was urinating that he forgot to flush and that it was disgusting. He apologized, but then quickly pondered asking me, "Did you just urinate on my fecus?". I remarked...."yes" as I flushed. He responded, "I love you to man."

Daily Advice: August 27th, 2009

When a Queen Wasp dies the worker wasps spread around town without a cause.

The grass is always greener; but it could also be yellower.

Daily Advice: August 26th, 2009

Dealing with women is like playing Nintendo Punch-out.

You have to work your way up the ladder.

You have to beat GlassJaw Murphy and all his friends before you get to face Mike Tyson.

Daily Note: August, 25th, 2009

If you are single, and looking for a date, don't ask girls out. Tell them they are going to go out with you.

Daily Advice: August 24th, 2009

If you want the freshest bread, grab from the middle of the bag.

Daily note: August 22, 2009

What's your licorice sort?

Most people prefer red licorice to black licorice at first. Some choose never to try the black again after one taste, claiming they prefer the red option much more. Others give the black a few more tastes, mainly out of intrigue and mystique, only to realize it's one of the best tastes on their palet .

bagels always start a fight... the pronounciation is always up for debate for some reason... but no one ever provides a competitor to Bagel


Sometimes I feel like the stop sign near my house with the branch in front of it. I'm here, I'm trying to be seen, but everyone is just speeding right past me.