Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Top ten pick up lines at the grocery store.

10. looking at meat. 'angus, lean, extra lean,....whoa... ultra super lean, hello'

9. Looking at Salsa: "Mild medium hot, whoah! (to girl)....smoking hot!

8. Referring to your grocery list: 'I have cheese, milk, oh a girl is next.....hey how are you?'

7. In the express line: 'Oh wait, only allowed 8 items, I wonder if that includes potential items like you and I. Cause if so I would like to accompany you to another line if I may.'

6. Walking by: "Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. for Broads." Hi I'm Conor (might not work)

5. Both eyeing a section, turn, look at her shopping cart and then say, "That's a sweet shopping cart, what year is that?"

4. Approach her after staring. "Sorry for staring. I thought this was the check out line"

3. Walk up to her. 'Excuse me, do you know where the pro...duce..sec...tion......holly molly your eyes are amazing.' hold the gaze.

2. Looking at canned foods: 'Excuse me. I was wondering if you could come help me pick out a soup.'

1. Walk up to her 'Excuse me, do you know where they keep the bread and....like...wholly smokes your lips are amazing.'

Monday, March 30, 2009

Top ten books with illustrations

1.Richard Scary "Cars and Trucks and Things that Go"
2. "Matthew and the Midnight Tow truck"
3. "Matthew and the Mighnight Turkeys"
4. Dr. Seuss "McElligots Pool"
5. Betrices Potter "Peter Rabbit"
6. Shelly Silverstein "Where the Sidewalk Ends"
7. Judy Blume "Freckle Juice"
8. Lizzy's Lion
9. Robert Munch 'Love you always'
10. Roahl Dahl 'BFG'

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Greenwillow Racquet Club

Club message

In order to join in the green movement we have made it our goal
in 2009 to reduce energy. We ask politely that you adhere to a
two towel limit so as to reduce energy associated with drying.

White towel Amnesty -
bringing back the freshness
We are asking our members to bring back their towels.
this is in result to the recent power outage in which our drying machines overheated. due to this we have a limited amount of clean towels. We ask for your patients as we deal with this matter.

We are asking that members bring back any towels they may have brought home. There will be no punishment or judgements passed, as we understand that towels can get mistakenly transported home without the member's knowledge. So help us start fresh. Towel drop offs will be held on tuesday march 7th. Bins will be left outside the front door. Members can drop off theire towels in the bins.

Greenwillow managements wants to thank you for your co-operation. We look forward to a clean and environmentally friendly club experience

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Greenwillow Racquet Club

Found in the suggestion box


Member complaint by Longo Barlow.

I think we need a ping pong table still. It is a little ridiculous that we have tennis courts, squash courts and we used to have racquet ball courts, but yet we don't have a small little ping pong table. Ping pong is a huge sport with over a billion fans (China). It doesn't take up that much room at all, and will be really cheap. All the kids at the club are saying that they want a table and that they would use it all the time. They have been saying this for a long time now, and basically don't understand why we don't have one. If you're concerned about it not making money, than we should just hire a ping pong coach to charge lessons and the club can take their cut.

This is the 3rd time (at least) I have put in a request for a ping pong table. As you will see, there are a lot more requests just like this one from other people keen on getting a ping pong table as well. One other thing is I am curious if these suggestions are followed through, or do you just take them as mere suggestions only to potentially be influnced by the ones you feel are 'good' suggestions? If so, there should be a discussion on the democracy of this process as it might be worth discussing as a membership. Just to clear the air and answer a question like, "how many suggestions constitute a move to action by management"

So I have two suggestions

1. Better communication, whether written or a 'members meeting', regarding how effective the suggestion box method of finding out what members REALLY want is.
2. Ping Pong table. Again.

Longo

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Coach's schedule

Monday @ 330 -
subject: 10 yr old boy, good athlete- plays all sports
mental theme: spend the hour (1x a week) trying to convince the kid to play more tennis. He has potential so I am constantly giving him lectures on commitment and patience.
actions: punishments, jokes, hitting balls at him intentionally

430-630
subject: group of 12 teenagers all average to moderately advanced.
mental theme: spend majority of the time trying to come across as cool but still strict. Work ethic and commitment are the two themes of just about every practice.
conflicts: not trying, late arrival.
actions: punishments (whole group always), metaphor lectures, comedy routines.

630- 730
subject: Vice Principal at one of the toughest schools in Ontario (Rexdale). Blonde married w/children.
mental theme: quiet often shows up mentally distraught from her day or social life. Spend majority of the time complimenting her (subconsciously) with the over all objective of making her feel successful.
actions: compliments, easy drills, tough love (she can be a strong person)

730-830
subject: a high up sales rep at RIM
mental theme: she is a masochist who hates everyone and everything. Spend the hour just hitting (her weaker stroke) she will find excuses for why life is horrible in everything from ball bounce to water temperature. Spend the hour trying to project positive energy, or at times, agreeing with her horrible outlooks. Agreeing makes her feel better.
actions: silence, laughter, eye rolls.

Coaching tactics

promotion - commitment! keep the young kid interested and keen on tennis
authority - try to inject discipline and motivation into 'too cool' teenagers lives.
confidence building - make the VP feel like she truly is special
all ears and relating - a shoulder to cry on.

Personal assessment: I have commitment issues, I'm so worried about looking cool it effects my life, I need confidence building, and I have no shoulder to cry on.

The coach's life is a hypocrisy


Tennis balls are hit as well.........but rarely is anything really improving.

Friday, February 13, 2009

A 10

10 out of 10

there is a sacred aura about them. Just seeing one is exciting and intriguing. perfect in everyway (at first meeting)

side effects: little birdies flying over your head. Complete speechlessness, silence, tunnel vision, post 10 spotting depression

You do not see 10s everyday.
Unicorns.

BEWARE! Just because you're with a 10 doesn't mean you wouldn't want to get down with an 8 everynow and then.

Clarity in the dark zone: 7 and 8 analysis

8: really hot, sexy, cute, 'there's something about her', awesome, wicked* - notice personality starts being suggested through adjectives but again a true find. Physically marriable if personality is awesome.

7: pretty, cute, really fun!, smart, kinda hot - creativety in adjectives is lost. No one ever wrote a poem about a 7. (practice girl)

Note: The drop off between an 8 and a 7 is the biggest of all drop offs. All men agree that an 8 is 'sexable' but the line begins to blur with a 7 and quite often the debate can get very heated as some men take a stance on why the 7 is hot and the others think she's 'nothing special'. The discussion of whether a girl is a 7 or 8 can dominate an entire conversation between men, can lead to men emoting their true feelings and philosophies and women, and can also usually tell you more about the guy than the girl.

****Quantum leaps: a 1.5 point increase for being awesome. If a 7 has amazing style, incredbily talented and confident they can actually be a 8.5!. Quatum leaps can happen backwards as well.

THE ETERNAL 7/8 CONTRAVERSY

POVs:
Men who underscore girls (call 8s 7s)
Men who say they won't hook up with a 7 are insecure liars. They are more concerned about their ego. By saying they won't have sex with a 7, as well as constantly under scoring girls (calling obvious 8s 7s), they are trying to project to their buddies that they only have sex with really hot women. The whole compensation theory. This quite often leads to a discussion about that man being arrogant or 'full of shit' and in turn his buddies will forever think he's 'full of it'.

Men who over score (call 7s 8s)
Men who over score women are usually really nice guys. But at the end of the day, if you really grill them, they will conceed that maybe the girl they said was an 8 is more like a 7ish. They tend to have things figured out and appear confident and diplomatic. Glass half full. When single, they might hook up with a 7, but would never date one or call them back. Truly know the art of 'practice' (sounds like Michael was in this category when he was single of course)

* Again awesome factor can turn any 7 into a unagruable 8